I coached for years.
As of late, I’ve shifted the way I work and the focus behind my work from 1:1s to more community focused and oriented. But the truth is: coaching taught me a lot.It taught me a lot about people, about patterns, and loads about myself.
These are lessons I didn’t just teach, they’re lessons I had to learn right alongside the people I was guiding. If you’re navigating growth, healing, or just trying to figure yourself out in a world that demands clarity 24/7, I hope these land where they need to. These lessons moved me then and continue to do so now. Take what resonates and leave the rest:
1. Most people want permission more than they want direction.They already know what they need. They just want someone to look them in the eye (or DM, or Zoom screen) and say:Yes. You can do that.Yes. That’s enough.Yes. You get to want that.
The world doesn’t always offer that, but your intuition already did.
2. The "block" isn’t a flaw. It’s often a nervous system response.You’re not lazy. You’re not broken either. Most importantly, you’re not avoiding things because you’re a failure. Your body is trying to protect you, even if it is outdated protection. When people understood this, their entire relationship with themselves softened. For some it took reflection, for others sometimes all it took was one breath.
3. Environments matter more than mindset.You can journal and visualize and script and manifest all day, but if your environment is constantly draining you, silencing you, or making you shrink — that matters. It’s not all internal work:
Where you live. Who you’re around. How much space you have. The light in your room. The way your body feels in that chair.
It’s not just the vision. It’s the conditions around it.
4. We’re not looking for perfect lives, we’re actually looking for alignment.People don’t actually want “everyday bliss.” They want peace. They want to be able to trust themselves deeply. They want to make decisions and know they’ll be okay, no matter what. They want to know they’re not performing or shrinking. They want to feel like they are where they know they could be.
The most powerful shift I ever saw in a client?When they realized they could be fully themselves and still be safe.
These are a few of the many lessons that have stayed with me in my own growth, in parenting, in creative work, in love. They’re simple at their core but their effects ripple out. These lessons also feed deeply into each other. They’re threads in a beautifully woven fabric that makes up your life and each thread has a beautiful role. If one of them resonated with you, I’d love to hear it.
And if you're still working on giving yourself permission, trusting your body, or shaping your environment to fit your dreams, please remember you're not behind. You're in it.
More soon.– Marr